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Hosea 14:1 Return, O Israel, to the LORD your God. Your sins have been your downfall!
We must continually “return” to God. Our sinful flesh longs to wander, and we need to continually take it back to the cross of Christ and remind the Old Adam within that: “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (see Galatians 2:20)
Reading a new book. (really? a new book?) Yes. Another new book. “When Helping Hurts.” Here’s a two barrel paragraph to get us thinking and wrestling and squirming a little. All of which, I contend, is quite good for us. Ready?
Here it is:
“North American Christians are simply not doing enough. We are the richest people ever to walk the face of the earth. Period. Yet, most of us live as though there is nothing terribly wrong in the world. We attend our kids’ soccer games, pursue our own careers, and take beach vacations while 40 percent of the world’s inhabitants struggle just to eat every day. And in our own backyards, the homeless, those residing in ghettos, and a wave of immigrants live in a world outside the economic and social mainstream of North America. We do not necessarily need to feel guilty about our wealth. But we do need to get up every morning with a deep sense that something is terribly wrong with the world and yearn and strive to do something about it. There is simply not enough yearning and striving going on.”
Come, Holy Spirit. Create in us that Holy yearning and the that Holy striving in your strength!
Isaiah 66:2 “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.”
This solemn day, marking the beginning of the Lenten season, has been observed by the Christian Church for centuries. While there is clearly no specific biblical mandate to observe the day, it still can serve as a helpful tool in the practice of one’s spiritual life. It is traditionally a day of personal and corporate penitence; a day to reflect on our sins and to bring them before God in repentance trusting in the promise of His forgiveness in Jesus.
Many “liturgical” churches (Roman Catholic, Episcopalian, Lutheran) practice “the imposition of ashes” from which the day derives its name. Ashes are placed on the worshipper’s forehead in the sign of the cross with the words: “Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.” The words echo God’s Word of Judgment after the fall into sin. (see Genesis 3:19) The sign of the cross reminds us that Jesus has taken the judgment of God on himself. Ashes serve as a symbol of human frailty under the weight of sin (see Genesis 18:27) and as a symbol of repentance. They were commonly used during times of mourning and repentance in biblical times. (see Esther 4:1; Job 42:6; Jeremiah 6:26; Daniel 9:3)
Many Christians observe the day by fasting (abstaining from food) according to the custom found in biblical times. Fasting was sometimes required in the ancient Laws of Israel (see Leviticus 23:26-32). Often, the practice of fasting accompanied times of intense seeking of God’s will and aid, (see 2 Chronicles 20:2-4; Esther 4:16; 2 Samuel 12:16) or at times of mourning and repentance (see Daniel 9:3; Jonah 3:1-10; Joel 2:12-13); or at times of spiritual preparation and formation (see Exodus 34:28; Israel’s experience in the wilderness in Deuteronomy 8:1-5; The Temptation of Christ in Matthew 4:1-11) Fasting can no longer be commanded (see 1 Timothy 4:1-6), but is still an appropriate, helpful and commendable spiritual discipline and expression of worship. (see Matthew 6:16-18)
The Haiti quake was (and continues to be) devastating. It calls to mind other recent natural disasters, Hurricane Katrina, recent the Tsunamis that stuck southeast Asia. It’s always interesting to see how people respond to such disasters, and to suffering in general.
The “Blame Game” is common in the aftermath of disasters. Preparations (including those of emergency plans, and infrastructure) come under intense scrutiny. Was the response to the disaster fast enough? Efficient? Effective? Sometimes these critiques are helpful for future disasters. Sometimes they are little more than political posturing.
On a deeper level, some blame God or the devil (see Pat Robertson’s Haiti comments) for disasters. Some will be quick to point out specific sins as the root cause of a disaster provoking God’s judgment. This was common after Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans and even after the 9/11 destruction of the Twin Towers. This was the reaction of the friends of biblical patriarch, Job. They continually argued with Job, explaining that it must have been some secret sin of his that brought about his suffering. These responses are not particularly helpful.
It can (and should) be pointed out that all suffering is ultimately the result of human sin and rebellion in general. Since Adam and Eve’s rebellion in the garden, the earth has been in “bondage to decay.” (see Romans 8) Disasters will happen. Suffering will happen. This is a fallen worl that has not yet been made right.
And it should be noted that the bible does, indeed, show God pouring out temporal judgments (in the forms of earthquakes, famines, and other disasters both natural and man-made). The goal of such episodes is often not punishment for the sake of punishment. The goal is usually repentance. God desires people to turn away from the false gods they have made and to turn to Him who alone can be trusted. (see, for one example, Revelation 9:20-21)
But we do not have the view from God’s throne as did John, Isaiah, Jeremiah and the other prophets who were enabled by their particular visions to declare “This is from the Lord.” We would do well, instead, to heed the Word of Jesus in Luke 13.
Now there were some present at that time who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices. 2 Jesus answered, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? 3 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. 4 Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them– do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”
Do you see how Jesus approaches these experiences of suffering? He specifically turns people away from speculating about the sinfulness of those who suffered. Were they worse sinners? NO! What is his focus instead? Those not involved immediately with the suffering. Those observing from afar. He says to them–to US–Repent! Human suffering should move all of us to personal repentance.
When we see disasters and suffering, we are reminded of the brokenness of this world and of our own personal brokenness and sin. The bible teaches us that ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that the wages of sin–what we deserve–is death. This should be MY punishment! Confess to God your own sins. Fall at His feet for mercy. Don’t speculate and point your finger in judgment at someone else–YOU repent!
And receive the mercy and grace, the forgiveness that Christ earned for you on the cross.
The main principle of changing YOU and then seeing resultant changes in your child (see previous post) works in many areas of life.
It works in the work place. The book, “Deep Change” argues for a similar approach as a leader at whatever level your position in the organization. In order for your environment to change–YOU will need to make “deep changes” in your outlook, approach, interactions, etc.
It works in marriage. The book, “Divorce Busting” argues that even one willing partner can make significant changes (to themselves!) and thus change the whole nature of a relationship.
This is all quite biblical. Jesus urges us to examine our own deisres, actions, and motives first before moving on to point out the fault in another when he says:
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5
Look to God to change your own heart, then look to Him to help you develop new patterns of interaction with the people around you.
When we take the time to examine our own hearts in the middle of a conflict, we may very well find that we’ve done something to contribute to the problem. What now? Well, when you do something wrong you say you are sorry.
But be careful how you do that. Sometimes our “apologies” can do more harm than good. For starters, it’s a great idea to eliminate the words “if” and “but” from your apologies. Think about what is actually being communicated.
“I’m sorry if you’re hurt.” Translation: “You seem upset. But you shouldn’t be. This whole thing is stupid and is really all your fault. If you didn’t have such thin skin I could be watching the game by now.”
or,
“I’m sorry I got mad, but you won’t even lift a finger to help out around the house.” Translation: “I’m sorry I got mad, but You won’t even lift a finger to help out around the house, and I’m still really mad at you. This is all your fault.”
Those “ifs” and “buts” completely wipe out the apology and shift the blame and responsibility right back to the other person. Let’s train ourselves to get those words out of our apologies.
There’s no “instant replay” rule in baseball that would have helped correct a bad call against the Twins last night. Twin’s Catcher, Joe Mauer, was robbed of a late inning double that could have changed the outcome of the game. (The Yankees won, though and that’s a good thing.:-) ) (Check out the video here–Twin’s Fair Ball vs. Yankees) The umpire was in the right place–he was lined up perfectly to make the call, and he still missed it. Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s really happening in “real speed.” Was it a fair ball or a foul? The replay helps you see it clearly: It was fair by about a foot. But the ump, whose whole job it is to watch these things and make the judgment, blew the call.
This makes me think of the last blog post on marriage, urging us to “get the log out of our own eye” before pointing the blame at our spouse. Life happens at “real speed.” There’s no replay (except for the sometimes faulty recorder of our own minds.) And we make very poor umpires–we often miss the call, thinking it was HER fault, or HIS fault, when it was actually MINE.
Again, the Word of God can be a corrective to help us see the truth about ourselves–a truth we may want to avoid but still need to hear and confront.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24
So, how can we do a better job of taking a look at our own hearts in the midst of relationship challenges? It’s not easy. It goes against the inclinations of our natural (sinful) nature. We want to think well of ourselves. We don’t like considering that we might be doing something wrong. But the reality is that it “takes two to tango,” and we’ve probably done SOMETHING to contribute to the problem. So what do we do?
I’ve been trying to train myself in the very midst of a conflict to simply stop and pray. Things are obviously not going well, so I pause inside and ask God to show me what I’m doing wrong. It begins as simply as that. “God, I’m a mess. I’m such a mess that I don’t even know what’s wrong. Please show me.”
It begins with prayer, asking God to shine His light on the dark places of our hearts. What next?
How do we test our words, actions and attitudes? How do we know if what we’re doing or saying is right, or twisted with selfishness? What standard should we use to evaluate our actions? Here is where the Word of God can be such a blessing. Here is when knowing His Word–even having it memorized and ready in our minds can be a huge asset.
The Word of God can function like a mirror. It shows us what’s going on on the inside. There are simply LOADS of passages that could help us evaluate our hearts at any given moment, but let me suggest one to start with.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Paul’s beautiful description of love. Maybe this was even read at your wedding. Test your words, your actions and most of all–the attitude of your heart–against these words. Are you exhibiting patience? kindness? Are you in the midst of reminding your spouse of his faults? Is this issue all about what YOU want, or are you truly looking out for the interests of your life-partner?
Do you see how that works? When we compare our current condition to what the Word of God describes we can see a little more clearly.
Take some time to read through Colossians 3:5-15. This is another great passage (among many) that can help serve as a “mirror” to the condition of our hearts. The book of Proverbs is also loaded with pithy statements that help us quickly evaluate our actions. Check it out!
This whole process is good to do not just in the midst of conflict but on a daily basis. It’s good to uncover harmful thoughts words and actions before they take root and become a habit.
Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. 13 Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression. Psalm 19:12-13
